So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND
HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND
NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN
I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES
NICK P L E A S E
Client: Do you do lemonade?
Me: Do we do… lemonade?
Client: Yes, I was told you do that here.
Me: I’m sorry, this is a graphics and print shop.
Client: I know that. I’m not an idiot.
Me: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -
Client: Look If you can’t lemonade these papers for me then I’ll go somewhere else!
Me: Do you mean… laminate?
advantages to wearing oversized sweaters:
- instant cute outfit with minimal effort
- it enhances the coziness when u drink hot beverages
- sweater paws are guaranteed to make u feel 43% more adorable
- u can unbutton ur jeans and no one will know
disadvantages to wearing oversized sweaters:
Guys think they’re totally not cute lol
the day i dress for a man is the day they dress me in my coffin to see jesus
Great Photography by Elene Usdin. This is a perfect combination of style, light, space and humans.
Elene Usdin started out as an illustrator for books and magazines in France, and for broadsheets such as The Boston Globe, the Washington Post, and the New York Times, in the US. Her interest in photography started in 2002, after buying a new camera. Thinking that it was the best way to experiment and create with full control, she commenced by taking self-portraits.
|—||people who eat crops picked by under payed, overworked, exploited and abused poor migrant workers (via bertoltbrechtfast)|
GUYS I JUST REALIZED WHY PAPER BEATS ROCK OH MY GOD
PAPER SYMBOLIZES WORDS WHICH SYMBOLIZES BRAINS
AND ROCK SYMBOLIZES BRAWN.
BRAINS OVER BRAWN.
MIND OVER MATTER.
PAPER OVER ROCK.
You clever little shit.
then what the fuck does scissors mean
when your next victim finally comes into the stall
This is fucked up. I’m crying.
aw no, dont cry. come sit down lets talk about it
hot doctor game too strong
i hope i fucking die in his arms and pass him a release form that says he can fuck my dead corpse pussy in front of all my loved ones at my funeral.
you should probably go outside and get some fresh air
"My wife didn’t want to take maternity pictures, so I hired a photographer and took her place…" [x]
I. AM. CRYING.
How to get followers: Just tag all your posts as nsfw. Every single one. They might not get 1000 notes but at least your friends milfloversanus and scoots-mcbuttholes will be there to support you from that point forward.